You are sitting in an old courtyard. It is smelly because it is midevil times and people shit on the floor. You let the wet leaves wash away the stench.
You can open the [[church door.]]
You can see (link: "some ivy on the wall")[a [[secret passage]] behind the ivy.]there is a priest in here. He has the ugly monk haircut that circles his head, and his eyebrows cover his eyes. He screams at you.
[[what did he say?]]
[[yell back!]]you stick your finger in your ear like a cartoon and kindly ask him to repeat himself. His volume doubles as he asks if you've seen his pet rabbit.
[[Tell him yes]]
Tell him (link: "no")[no, but you're lying. [[You totally saw the bunny]]]"hey fuck you!!!", you yell."Your hair is ugly and I hate you!".
You flip him off for good measure.
wait... what's that he's got [[behind his back?]]haha sike. it was just a plain wall. you run into the wall headfirst and get a concussion. Now you are an outcast and have to go join the circus because the midevil folk are not openminded or understanding.It's a gun!! Ahhhh!! How did he even get that- we are in the year 200! With the power of Christ compelling him he shots at your leg and you die from scurvy and gangreen and the common cold at the same time because the doctor told you to eat paint."oh thank goodness". Huh, all his volume has vacated the room and he's pretty much wispering at this point. Looks like his bunny brings out his soft side.
[[tell him where you last saw the rabbit.]]
[[make fun of him for showing emotion.]]He gives you a glare and turns back around to finish doing his priest things.
You cover a snicker with your hand and lick the bunny juice off your fingers. Finders eaters losers weepers.You tell him that last you saw, the bunny was being chased by some rugrats in town down the lane.
"Why didn't you stop them?" he asks, exasperated.
you shrug. "I didn't know he was yours".
"... you're not a very good person are you"
you shrug again. He (link: "pushes past you")[pushes past you quite rudley in all honesty], and you follow him out the door to sit in the courtyard again. This conversation did nothing to clear the funky smell lingering in your nostrils, and you sit next to the most fragrant plant you can find. You'd rather stink like a worm than (link: "like a non-bathing shut in.")[like a non-bathing shut in (you're very ahead of the times in your progressive way of thought. Maybe your average bathing habits are why people like this priest don't like you very much.]Oh my god he's crying. You made a priest cry. Shit.
[[what's that rumbling?]]It's God! Hey God!
You and the priest have rushed outside to see the skies parting and God sititng on a soft cloud looking pissed. Damn, now that you get a good look, they're exactly as you pictured them. They look like (link: "...")[what? you think I know what God looks like? Jeez.]
"what's up God" you ask
She strikes you with lightning and you get zapped to death. The priest steps over you and rushes to God and they start making out. It's very touching.